Welcoming Regression

Recently, I've noticed an increasing number of athletes in the Instagram fitness community showing vulnerability regarding the topic of regression, which inspired me to reflect on my own experience as a pole dancer in her 40s.

Pole Fitness is a pretty aggressive sport that requires a lot of training and work to maintain strength, stamina, and progression. As I celebrate entering a new decade of my life, I hold much gratitude in my heart for all that my body continues to be capable of doing but I also can't deny that I have been faced with some new physical changes that aren't always easy to welcome as a passionate athlete.

In addition to facing the challenges of an aging body, I have recently experienced the physical and mental difficulties that come with being diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease.

I never imagined this could happen to me, given my long-standing passion for nutrition, fitness, health and wellness...Coming to terms with the changes that accompany my healing process has certainly been challenging.

I've processed all the emotions that come with grieving because since my health scare, it does feels like a part of me has permanently changed, leaving me with no other choice but to look at regression straight in the face.

On a brighter note, overcoming these obstacles has driven me to reflect on what truly matters in life, the people and experiences I should cherish, and the negative energies I need to allow myself to let go of.

I've been sorting through all of this while taking baby steps toward finding new beginnings and a refreshed vision of a better, healthier life for myself. But all the while, during my soul-searching, I've also been challenged to face many new insecurities and unavoidable changes to accept.

Let's face it, we like to focus on growth in life; we like to strive for progression, for getting stronger and advancement. But what happens when the body ages, and some things that we used to find physically easy become harder, or things that used to feel effortless become painful?

What happens when you are in downward-facing dog and you look down at your thighs and the skin just doesn't look the same? I think there is a new wisdom to be embraced in acceptance and unconditional body love.

There is no stopping aging, and although today's society and culture thrive on trying to reverse the clock, the truth is that no matter what efforts we put into keeping our skin and body young, we must all eventually accept these physical and internal changes.

Being a pole fitness athlete has always helped me feel young, strong, and at times invincible.

Experiencing a situation where I felt powerless and lost all control due to severe illness was a significant reality check for me. I had to shift my focus from advancing as an athlete to simply ensuring my survival and returning to a normal life. I am immensely grateful and honoured that my health has improved, allowing me to dance once more and engage in all the physical training I cherish deeply.

I am much more mindful of how much my body wants to be pushed, and, most importantly, how it wants to be encouraged and coached.

Self-talk and confidence play a huge role in helping me perform tricks and flows on the pole.

The inner dialogue is so crucial to how I feel during my training.

More and more, this inner coach is evolving into a more gentle conversation focused on connection with the present moment and how I want to feel in the now. It's a ritual of honouring my body where it's at and embracing the changes that present themselves along the journey.

I can look at regression with a humble heart and find acceptance that with age, it does take more to maintain muscle gain, that I will have days when I feel strong and fierce, and other days when I may need to take naps, read books, and cuddle with my cat.

I am proud of the journey I've been on as a dancer, athlete, and performer. It's been over a decade of defying gravity and accomplishing what, to most, would feel impossible. But now it's my time to shine in a completely different way and to embrace the wisdom that comes with accepting nature's plan.

I am learning to embrace and be proud of my laugh wrinkles because they are proof that I have lived a happy life and had many belly laughs.

I am embracing the wisdom I find each time I truly listen to my body and allow my heart to lead the way instead of my mind. I am finding gratitude in my strong days as well as on the days that require rest. I am loving the space that has freed up on my path with the knowledge that time heals all wounds, internal and external.

I am enjoying reminiscing about all of the amazing memories that I have lived and experienced as a dancer and looking onward and forward to all of the new, wiser ones I will make.

You see, we don't have to look at regression as a loss because in so many ways we are winning.

We are winning in acceptance, authenticity, and embracing the natural flow of life.

Every new change will certainly trigger new insecurities and might even kick my self-esteem around a bit.

But it's what I do with the hardships that counts.

So today, I ask you to reflect on how you will age and how you will face regression.

I am choosing to see it as a whole new chapter of my journey that I am meant to celebrate and welcome with all my love.

And I hope that you will find this compassion for yourself as well.

Let's embrace aging with affection and elegance, cherishing ourselves as we gracefully dance into the rest of our breathtaking ever so beautifully changing lives.

With Love, Always

CJ